Was it a Good Birth?

I have not posted in a long time...

Today I am offering a re-print of a lovely article by Michelle L'Esperance, CPM of Warm Welcome Birth Services.

Was it a Good Birth?
By Michelle L'Esperance - Used with permission.

The 65-Hour Birth

When people hear that you're a doula, or thinking of becoming one, are you ever asked questions along the line of, "But what do you do if she's in labor for 24 hours? Or more? I had a friend who...." The assumption is usually that long labor = awful labor for everyone involved. Having recently had the deep privilege of being with a family through their three day-and-night birth journey, I can emphatically say that while an exceptionally long labor naturally has substantial intrinsic challenges, there's also a whole lot of time built in there for sweetness, heart connection, Thai food, ripening magnificently into parenthood, foot-rubs, birth dancing, naps, posing in Salvador Dali mustaches- all while developing monumental patience, flexibility, and fortitude. Here is what I have seen in long labors: for a woman who is physically nourished, emotionally cherished, and who is respected as a legitimate decision-maker for herself & her baby, the experience can ultimately be a positive one. I'm glad to say I've seen this happen both in homebirth & in hospital, the slow unfolding supported by midwives and OBs who are willing to be benevolent watchers and waiters, offering options to the parents based on what their particular situation is.

The Two-Hour Birth

When asked how long they would like their labor to be, many pregnant women will answer, "The quicker the better! A couple of hours would be fine!" There are certainly some benefits to going from contraction #1 to baby-in-arms in the time it takes to savor a great meal. I've known and been with some women who had these ultra-fast labors (medically known as 'precipitous' births). The assumption that some people make about this one is that shorter = easier, as if your body cleverly found some shortcut to the birthing process. Most women who've had a very fast labor describe it as very intense, though- sometimes breathtakingly intense. One said, "It was like suddenly finding myself riding on the front of a speeding train. All I could do was go where it went and hang on." The challenge with these births is to stay centered despite the quick onset of very intense contractions. The atmosphere in the room during a very fast labor can easily tip from intense into chaotic or panicky- our job is to prevent that. Thankfully, the reason it's so intense is usually that unseen things are working very efficiently.

The doula's role in this case (after getting to the client's side as quickly as possible!) is to be a deeply grounding, reassuring presence. The laboring woman will likely have strong feelings about what physical position works for her. The doula can support that as much as possible, making her more comfortable with padding for kneeling, easily reached drinks with straws, etc. After a precipitous birth, the woman may be a bit in shock and disbelief about the whole thing- mentally there can be some catching up to do. Nevertheless, if the birthing mom, partner, and doula have worked together with the attending midwife or OB to create a respectful, responsive birth environment, the family will likely look back on their whirlwind birth with satisfaction and even pride.

So, Was it a Good Birth?

Striking features of a birth such as extreme length or speed, or the decision/need to birth by cesarean, can seem to define the birth to those who weren't there. However, to the laboring mother and her family, the visceral, lived experience is also likely to be remembered in terms of the atmosphere in the room (was it tense? respectful? lonely? nurturing?) and in terms of the decision-making process (respectful? authoritarian? cooperative?). While a woman's image of her ideal birth is not always met, we as doulas can support the family's experience of feeling deeply cared for and truly heard. And whether birth is a long trek, a wild ride, or some other kind of journey, the doula's support can make the journey one that the family remembers with more serenity.